He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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