I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
