i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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