clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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