Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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