scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
