She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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