my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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