Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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