yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
