The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You've changed since you got that strap on
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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