i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
third nipple confirmed
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
