Who wears a wallet chain?!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
