he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
