i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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