Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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