I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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