he wants to bone in the snuggie
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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