K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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