So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
