I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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