Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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