For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
