This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
