when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
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I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
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Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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