Need sex. Gaining weight.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
