I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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