Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
