yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
