If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
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Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
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At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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