I wish I only lived at night.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
