is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
