No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
