I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
