I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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