Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You're a waste of cheezeits
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
