At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
