just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
