it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
