so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
