He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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