Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize