haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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