Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
