I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
