It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
They took my balls.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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