I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We don't watch enough power rangers
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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