I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
