Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
