I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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