I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
