All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
