Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
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Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize