I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
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I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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