we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis