Me. At least after what I've been through.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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