i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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