Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
