I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
